What are three major concerns on most everyone's mind nowadays? Answer: Money, Time and Love. Sound familiar? That seems to be what everyone wants to have more of in their lives. "If only I had more money, then I could do the things I always wanted to do, then I would be happy." If only I had more time, then I could go on vacation or take up a hobby, then I could feel more at peace." If I could just have a relationship with someone, then I could finally feel love.
This Have-Do-Be paradigm seems to be all backwards! I think we're putting the cart before the horse. For those of you who don't have a Webster's handy, a paradigm is a principle within which we live. We seem to live within this universal notion, this collective conscious principle, that we must HAVE something (like time) in order to DO something (go on vacation) that will allow us to BE that which we seek to be (happy, at peace). Well, who says it has to be in that Have-Do-Be order? Who says that having more time will make you feel at peace, just because it will allow you a vacation? If you had more time, don't you think you would find a zillion other things that you had to do to fill it? And if you had a zillion things to do, but went on vacation anyway, would you really feel at peace, or would your list of things to do occupy your thoughts and ruin your vacation?
I say that having time to go on vacation in order to feel happy or at peace is nonsense! Instead I say that feeling happy or at peace will allow you to go on vacation and create more time for yourself! Ha! This is the
Have-Do-Be, I mean the Be-Do-Have paradigm! Not only does it make more sense, but you will find that it will really serve you to open your mind to this type of living! Unfortunately, we have been almost programmed within this notion that the end result of having something is becoming something else, so the first thing we need to do is figure out why we have been thinking these backwards thoughts our whole lives and change our ideas about it.
Think about this backward notion for a moment: Have-Do-Be. If you haven't felt that "happiness" yet, then how do you know that having more money will give it to you? If you haven't felt that 'peace' yet, then how do you know that having more time will give it to you? And if you haven't felt that 'love' yet, then how do you know that being in a relationship will give it to you? In other words, how can we possibly experience something that we haven't yet been? But, wait a minute! Won't the experience cause me to know happiness, peace, love or, for that matter, any other emotion? Well, sure, if that's what you really believe, then that is what you will create for yourself. But do you really want to live that type of causal relationship between having and being? Do you really want to subscribe to the Have-Do-Be paradigm, or do you want to change that antiquated belief system and start creating your own experiences instead of allowing material things to create them for you?
What if I told you that 'knowing' doesn't follow 'experience'; it precedes it! We don't know happiness just because something made us feel that way. We've always known happiness, and we draw to ourselves the experiences with which we associate that feeling! If you think this is wrong, then ask yourself who teaches a baby to smile? No one! We come into this world knowing happiness - and all the other emotions we feel - and we learn to associate these feelings with certain experiences. As a result, we erroneously believe that it is the experiences that cause us to know this happiness. When we live in the present moment, moment to moment, deliberately creating the feeling of happiness from within then we start to experience it outwardly. Happiness and all other states of being are self-bestowed.
To go back to the earlier examples, knowing happiness does not follow the experience of having more money, knowing peace does not follow the experience of having more time, and knowing love does not follow the experience of having a relationship! This knowing precedes the experience!! Haven't you ever noticed the correlation between how you wake up in the morning to how things happen for you the rest of the day? Haven't you noticed that on those days that you wake up, and you don't know why, but you're just in a great mood, everything seems to go your way? On the other hand, sometimes when you wake up, you just know that it's going to be a bad day. Why is that? It's simple. You create those experiences - good or bad! If you believe it's going to be a bad day, then a bad day it will be. By the same token, if you truly believe it's going to be a great day.... Hmm! I think we're getting somewhere here.
Your emotions will truly help you to attract the experiences in life that you consider valuable! That's why your perpetually happy neighbor always has great things come her way. That is how that co-worker you have always wondered about, who is always at peace with himself and everyone else, always has time enough for everything and everyone. And you know your friend, the one who is so filled with love that he practically radiates? The one who everyone wants to be around? Creating the love is how he attracts loving relationships - in both the romantic and platonic senses!
So now we can get back to this Have-Do-Be paradigm and figure out how to unlearn the beliefs we are accustomed to creating and turn the tables to our favor. First, let's get rid of the idea that "havingness" produces "beingness", and realize that it is actually the other way around! As we have already learned, we must become (or know) this thing called, "happy" ... or peace, or love, or even wise, compassionate, etc. Once we reach this state, we will realize that from this place of "beingness", we will begin to do the things that bring us to "havingness". We will create our own realities!
If you are not the kind of person who can very easily just close your eyes, and bring yourself to this state of "beingness", then just cheat a little by abusing that Have-Do-Be paradigm. If you thought that having more money would bring you happiness, then close your eyes, and imagine the happiness that you had idealized by having that money. Your mind is a very powerful tool, and it's time you used it to your advantage! Your mind allows you to folly in imagination, and your imagination can create whatever experiences you will it to create! So why not create happiness, peace, love, or anything else you deserve? Create the happiness in your imagination, and allow yourself to flow directly into that state of "beingness". Close your eyes and feel that happiness, peace, or love that you have created and have "become".
In the spiritual (and not necessarily religious) book Conversations with God the author, Neale Donald Walsch, resonates with this idea that your emotions create your experiences. He asserts that "All states of mind reproduce themselves". In this sense, happiness is a state of mind and like all states of mind, it can reproduce itself in physical form. Again, your beliefs create your reality! When you allow your reality to create your beliefs, you are living defensively and reactively. On the other hand, when you deliberately create a belief or state of being, then you are living deliberately and proactively!
Ok, so now you have created this belief that you are happy (insert any state of mind here). Now what? Well now you feel happy and have become happy, so act happy! Since this happiness is sincere, you will find that you draw into your being the experiences you desire. Why did I now mention that the happiness must be sincere? Because anything that you do must be done with sincerity of heart, or else the benefit of the action will be lost. Natural law requires that mind, body and spirit be united in thought, word, and action for the process of creation to work. You can not fool your mind. If you are insincere, your mind knows it! But if you are sincere, then your mind knows that as well!
Let's go back to the idea that when you create your own beliefs and realities, you draw into your being the experiences you desire. Now combine this idea with the sincerity of your actions. How does this work? Well, whatever you choose to create for yourself, give to another. If you choose to be happy, help someone else to be happy; if you choose to be prosperous, help another to prosper; if you choose more love in your life, cause another to have more love in his or her life. And do this sincerely, not because you seek personal gain, but because you have a sincere desire to give others what you yourself seek. The universe is an amazing machine that will return to you all the things you give away. Think about this: giving something of yourself is an experience. And if you do not have something, then you cannot give it away! Since you can not give to another something you do not now have, your mind comes to a new conclusion, a new thought about you. Namely, that you must have this or you could not be giving it away. This new thought then becomes your experience. In other words, if you want to give love, but you do not have it, then having love becomes your new experience. Your mind begins to create the love you need to give. And once you begin this creative process, you engage the gears of the most powerful creation-machine in this universe, your divine self. What ever you are "being", YOU are creating. The circle is complete and you will create more and more of these types of experiences in your life. Your creations will manifest themselves in your physical experience. This is the greatest secret of life!
It's time to dis-create your old belief system and re-create yourself! "To be or not to be" is many things. It is the question, it is the answer, and it is your choice! Will creating happiness bring you money, peace bring you time, or love bring you a relationship? Forget the Have-Do-Be paradigm! Reverse your belief system and live the Be-Do-Have paradigm proactively and find out for yourself! Allow your state of mind to create your own experiences, instead of letting your experiences create your state of mind!
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